My 2nd Marathon

once smitten, twice run

Today is the day I ran my second marathon. Armed with a previous marathon experience and 2 weeks worth of training, I confronted this year's (StandChart) Singapore Marathon with renewed gusto.

I woke up this morning at 3.30am with a sore throat. This is expected since I had been carbo-loading with unhealthy food like chips, peanuts and chocolates - an excuse to satisfy my appetite for junk food. That did not stop me from having the most random breakfast ever: honey and oats breakfast bar and Berocca effervescent tablet. It doesn't sound too palatable, does it? It only gets worse.

5.15 am - Reached the starting point.

5.25 am - Managed to squeeze through to the Sub 5 category. I knew my target this time was to run a 4 hour but I was not absolutely confident either. If I wanted to do that timing, my pace had to be consistent throughout and I could not afford to stop. That was not something I thought I could manage easily.

5.30 am - Flag off. I was actually glad that it is finally starting.

I got into a good pace and started overtaking. I had to catch up to the 4:00 pacers if I wanted to chase that goal of mine. After about 3 km, I found them. They had a constant pace but I felt it was pretty hasty so I kept them in sight. It was only after a visit to the loo at 7 km that I realised I was slipping far behind.

Increasing my pace, I decided to just go ahead of the 4:00 pacers. I wanted to gain some distance ahead of them so I can safely reach my targeted timing.

10 km - I swallowed my first powergel (banana + strawberry = what the hell?) in the space of one full kilometre. This was a plan I devised to avoid the "wall" at around 30 km when the body runs out of fuel and stops functioning by cramping up.

14 km - I was running into East Coast Park. It was still dark. I heard sirens on the opposite direction leaving East Coast Park. There was a fast motorcycle and I squinted at its trail. A dark figure was following it at a speed I never imagined was humanly possible.

16 km - Feeling that I was running near empty again and knowing there was a powergel refuel station at 21 km, I ate my second (tangerine) gel which I brought along. It tasted a little better but still, nothing you'd substitute for real food.

18 km - It was there I finally saw the deep heat stations. This year's sponsor gave ridiculously small amounts. I could barely rub the pinch of cream on my hands, not to mention on my things and calves.

21 km - Powergel station. I managed to grab another banana + strawberry and chocolate flavoured gel. This was essential for finishing the run. Last year, at 28 km, I felt like I was empty. That was because I didn't know the importance of refuelling. This time, I felt much better.

I stored the banana one for later and held the chocolate one in my hand.

25 km - I ate the chocolate powergel. It was sweet and salty?!?!

30 km - By now, it must be the 20th time I was chanting the reasons for my run:

1. In honour of God who gave me a capable body that does more than just studying.
2. For my father who died in the hospital without even a breath of fresh outdoor air.
3. For those who are permanently hospitalised and wheelchair-bound and would probably exchange their lives to get a taste of what I am now experiencing.

It was a simple list but it was what countered any negative thoughts that could seep into my head. At 30 km, this was more than important, it was a matter of whether I could or could not press on. Mind over body is a double-edged sword. I would rather inundate my brain with this list than cast doubts on my abilities.

32 km - Knowing there was only 10 km left and it was pointless to keep the powergel, I ate the last of my fuel. Now, the runners are spaced at least 5 metres apart. Unlike the crowd I saw in the earlier part of the race, I could only see a few of us now.

Then, they merged us in with the half-marathoners. They were all walking at their 14th kilometre!!! It was obstructing my path and worse still, I could not see the full marathoners and keep pace. This is the most irritating part of the race.

33 km - I was counting down kilometre by kilometre. I believe my pace has slowed down. The half-marathoners took a different path now. I stopped to stretch my feet for a moment.

35 km - 7 more, I told myself.

37 km - 5 km, it is the distance of my usual runs. I usually think nothing of it...

40 km - Stopped for a final stretch to prevent any cramps. The half-marathoners are merged back in and all of them were walking!

41 km - I am thankful I am not feeling as much cramps as the previous year and in fact I was still having a good pace! I remember stopping in my steps at the esplanade bridge last year because I simply had no will to carry on. This year however, I had my eye on the prize. A photographer called out to his friend that there was only 5 minutes left to Sub 4 timing.

I took the message.

42 km - FINALLY, the division between the full and half-marathoners returned. I could see the finishing arch. The big clock with yellow numbers was on it. It said, "3:56".

42.195 km - I ran my guts out. The last of the clock I saw was, "3:57".

I finished with a Sub 4 timing. You cannot imagine the euphoria. It was as though I had come in first. I yelled out "YES!" ignoring the crowd around me. The feeling was incredible. I had cut my timing last year by more than half an hour!

The pain and aches didn't matter. It was all well worth it.

Few more hours to marathon...

impossible is nothing

Muahahahaha.

Things I've grown unfamiliar to...

it's not all bright and rosy once you're home...

You see, there are some things I have grown conveniently familiar to in Australia that coming back, I found myself having to re-adapt.

• Lifts. I just realised I haven't gotten into one for a long, long time. Even in NCV, the highest floor would be 7. So when I got home and into the lift, I was shocked at how long a 16-storey ride was. It was like a space elevator.
• Taps with the hot and cold dial. I nearly spun my tap around at home.
• Recycle bins. I was collecting the paper waste that I had brought around because it was a practice that was well seeded in my head. Unsurprisingly, there were no blue-topped recycle bins around!
• Flashing red men. After the green man in Australia is a flashing red man which means you need to cross faster but here... it probably doesn't take much to imagine what can go wrong.
• Not having my men's shampoo, face wash and body wash. In trying to save luggage weight, I did not bring any of my toiletries back. I am currently using random shower gels from my female-dominated household and after each bath, I smell like a mixed-fruit salad. Lol.

Stacey Solomon - Somewhere Only We Know (cover)

call me boring, or a traditionalist but i don't usually find covers of songs all too amazing. well, until now i guess. this keane song... i never believed it could actually be redone so impressively. i think stacey solomon should win x-factor 09 (i didn't like her redoing of coldplay's the scientist either but this one is just impeccable).

The Practical Exam

you can't romanticise hell or the likes of it

I woke up this morning fresh, thankfully. Last night was warm, I remember. I'd checked the last item off my study list before coaxing myself to sleep. Many people wished me well for the exams which was a good reminder that I had been at studying (and talking to people less to the extent that they mostly knew I was busy) for a while. True, it's been almost a month since the coursework caught up with me.

As usual, my milk turned sour this morning. It didn't surprise me, it happened before for the end-of-course exams. It was 2 days before the expiry date this time! It was revolting. I think the refrigerator could be problematic.

Today's 4 hours long exam was the culmination of this year's education.

It was intense. It is divided into 5 minutes for a question (2.5 minutes for anatomy) and you are expected to analyse the results of a lab report or histology slide and come up with a diagnosis or explanation. It was stressful and insanely challenging. Divided into subjects and 4 half-hour segments, the test was tackled quarter by quarter.

To summarise it, I think this was the first exam where my hands raced faster than my mind and my handwriting ranged from illegible to gibberish.

When it was finally done, I stepped out of the medical faculty building and it was cool, cloudy and 20˚C cooler than the same time yesterday. Freedom was in the air I breathed and it was simply exhilarating. It didn't matter if it were rainy. It didn't matter if I didn't have expectations for good results. What mattered was, I've worked hard for a month and now, there is semblance of a lull.

I joined the rest to have Thai food in Kingsford and then got home from there. Back home, I watched 2 episodes of Greys Anatomy (someone insisted I must) while waiting to wait at the last dinner party this year. An ex-chef turned up to help cook. He was a fantastic cook from Malaysia.

The dinner party had an interesting mix of people. I spoke to a doctor working in Aboriginal health who offered some interesting perspective. This was one party I took away plenty from (including the brilliant food).

I took the usual 2+ hours to wash up and made sure I did a perfect job now that I had the time to. I think it's a good way to show my gratitude to my landlord (of course I will also be penning a real letter of gratitude). Now that I'm really relaxed, I should be sleeping.

If there were a word to describe how I feel now, it is "thankful".

Sydney's weather is crazy

it so is.

I woke up this morning sweating.

Then this afternoon, there was a crazy thunderstorm where there was lightning and thunder but like a dry cough it barely rained for 2 minutes.

As though the sun didn't give us enough heat, winds kept the temperatures up so that it is still 32˚C now at 10pm. THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN EVEN IN SINGAPORE.

Looking further, the mercury is going to hit 39˚C on Sunday. Knowing the weather forecasts here, it's probably going to be true.

This is the 4th straight week of hardcore studying (since the assignments and all) and even thought I paced myself well, I found myself losing steam. The weather's not helping at all.

Gravebook

what i think Facebook would be if it opens a cemetery wing

Have you ever had friends/people die on Facebook...?

It is so unusual. It narrows the last "contact" you had with the person to the last "status update" he/she had and that may be days or just hours ago. There are not many people you speak to one day before who passes on the next day. Yet Facebook makes that essentially possible, even retrospectively, giving you the person's last words/action on the Internet.

You stare at the screen thinking that a few minutes later you'd see the person update a status or have some recent activity. It is just like in the real world where the assumption of the person's existence has not faded. You deny.

I have a feeling it stops there though. Kubler Ross's (1969) stages of grief - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Despair, and Acceptance - has little place in the virtual world. It lacks the emotional connection. Furthermore, with information flooding in incessantly, you're likely to accept the new pop-up from the side of the screen and navigate to another page without thinking.

In the real world, a widowed wife does not click and navigate to a new husband. A mother who lost a child does not click and adopt a new child. A friend who has lost another friend does not leave a message and then leave for another party. In the real world, we grief, we weep and we attend a funeral.

But here I am abroad, 3,000 kilometres away from home, Facebook told me a friend had passed on. Though just a next-door classmate, I found it depressing because we are all just starting out in life. I left a message and as unfeeling as it sounds, it might just end there because there is nothing much else I could do.